Vest

Ko to pišem, se še vedno tresem. Danes se je moja prijateljica zdrla name. Postavil sem ji napačno vprašanje. Stara je 62 let. Je zelo slabega zdravja. Moja delavnica je na njenem posestvu. Prijatelja sva; poslušam jo, jo peljem do zdravnika, lekarne, ji pomagam pri običajnih opravkih. V zadnjem delu dvorišča je koliba, ki mi jo je odstopila za atelje. Osamljena je, komaj hodi in je ujetnica svojega doma. Ko se srečava, jo običajno objamem, o politiki pa ne govoriva. Danes pa je, ko je prišla v atelje, začela govoriti o politiki.

Zaskrbljena je. Obama je rekel nekaj o »razporeditvi bogastva«. To jo plaši. Pove mi zgodbo svojega mrtvega očeta, kako je trikrat zaslužil in izgubil bogastvo, kako je vedno poravnal svoje dolgove in kako je zaposloval več sto ljudi. To zgodbo sem slišal že kakih desetkrat in sem hotel, da preide k bistvu.
»No, moj oče je zaslužil ves denar, ne bi mu ga smeli vzeti«, končno pove. In: »Ne zaupam oblasti.«
Živi od očetovega denarnega sklada. V finančni gripi, ki trnutno razsaja je izgubila že polovico, približno milijon dolarjev. Prestrašena je; ne more delati, njeno zdravstveno zavarovanje ji pokriva vedno manj storitev. Je nemočna in ne vidi izhoda. In srce se ji trga, ko vidi kako ljudje izgubljajo hiše, pokojnine in službe.

Ampak jaz sem brezčuten in me samo zanima, kaj je rekel Obama, da jo je tako vrglo s tira. Kaj se zares dogaja?

Rečem: »Če prav razumem, hoče Obama tistim, ki zaslužijo več kot 250.000 dolarjev na leto zvišati davke za 35 do 39%. Tako je bilo v Clintonovih letih…«

In ona začne kričati. Naj povzamem nekaj njenih: da sem seronja, da jo vedno obsojam, da sem parazit in socialist, da ji ugovarjam in je ne poslušam, da sem neolikan in da si ne zaslužim uporabe dediščine njenega očeta (kolibe za hišo).

Nekajkrat pred tem me je posvarila, da se bo kot diabetičarka kdaj obnašala neracionalno in čustveno nestabilno in da takrat mora samo nekaj pojesti. Pa jo vprašam, če je to en teh trenutkov. Zanika in se začne še glasneje dreti. Ob neracionalnih ženskah se ne znajdem. Ugasnem luč in zaklenem. Mi sledi del poti in se dere, drla se je tudi v svoji hiši, ko sem sedel za volan.

Po eni strani je ta spor zgolj osebni problem, moja nezmožnost, da se konstruktivno ukvarjam s prijateljico, ki morda celo potrebuje medicinsko pomoč. Po drugi strani pa je Amerika polna problemov, ki delijo ljudi do te mere, da se zdi, da sploh ni trdnih tal pod nogami. Vse kar lahko narediš je, da ignoriraš druge, dokler ne začneš kričati.

Amerika je te dni precej razklana. Nobena od strani ne uspe razumeti druge. Nekaj spornih vprašanj: splav/kontracepcija, pravice homoseksualcev, davki, obramba, Irak, vojna proti terorizmu… Knige bi se lahko pisale. Aja, rasa je tudi resna tema, legalizacija marihuane, vera… Bolje, da neham.

V Kaliforniji imamo precej referendumov. Ta trenutek vsaj kakih 17. Eden od njih je proga za hitri vlak, potem nikogar ni, ki bi sprejel zakon, po katerem naj bi najstnice dovoljenje za splav dobile od staršev. Tu je referendum za primerno ravnanje z živino in en, ki bi odločal o miljardi dolarjev za nove zapore. Najbolj zanimiv pa je tisti o spremembi kalifornijske ustave, ki bi določal, da se istospolni pari ne morejo poročiti. Predlog številka 8 omejuje poroke na zgolj moškega in žensko. To je konzervativni odgovor na odločbo sodišča, ki pravi, da je diskriminacija neustavna.

Kalifornijci se močno zavedamo svojega položaja. Smo na skrajnem robu, s precej avantgardnim načinom življenja, v centru new-age zavesti, svetovni filmski prestolnici itn. Hecna zaležana frizura, ki je bila trend v Silver Laku lani, bo pri vas postala hit čez en teden, če ne že prej. Ste že videli ultra majhne vroče hlačke na tipih? Tudi te prihajajo…

In če bodo sprejeli ta zakon… No, nekateri se še spomnimo časov, ko ženske niso imele volilne pravice, nekateri imajo stare starše, ki so bili sužnji in nekateri so mnenja, da je največji greh, ko moški leži ob drugem moškem, kot bi bil ženska. No, nikjer ni govora, da ženska ne sme spati z žensko, ampak dodaj sem še to. Predlog številka 8 pa nikjer ne zajame dejstva, da isti odstavek Biblije obravnava prehranjevanje s školjkami za enako velik gnus. Zaman čakam na »Pojej škamp in pojdi v pekel!« protest.

Če bo ta predlog zakona sprejet; človekove pravice poteptalo kvazi pobožnjaštvo; spet srednji vek.
Ti referendumi so mnogo krat namerno zavajujoči. Večina ljudi pravi, živi in pusti živeti; homoseksualci se torej lahko poročijo, če tako želijo. Ampak akcija je izpeljana pro-družinsko in v smislu zaščite zakona. Če si za istospolne poroke, moraš na glasovnem lističu obkrožiti NE. Tisoče volilcev bodo v čudenju nad rezultati 5. novembra butali z glavami ob zid.

In kaj lahko narediš? Preberi, vse kar ti pride pod roke. Nauči se razlikovati informacijo od propagande. Širi besedo – na pozitiven način. Toliko teorij zarot lebdi po zraku… nekatere so resnične… vrtijo se okoli zeitgeista (duha časa), da ljudje lahko izgubijo celo srce, če se izkaže, da lahko kaj spremenijo. Nekdo je rekel, da je prvo, kar naredijo negativci v družbi kot je naša, pri nasprotniku povzročijo občutek nemoči. To pa ni dober občutek. Morda se boš zdrl na nekoga, ki ti želi dobro. Lahko bi rekel tudi kaj o sočutju, ampak tu se imam še veliko za naučiti.


Tim Ottman
Prevedla Irena Kovačevič

As I write this, I am stilll trembling.  Today, a friend of mine screamed at me.  Yelled her head off.  I had asked her the wrong question.
     She is 62 years old.  She is in very bad health.  My workshop (in the picture) is on her property.  We are friends; I listen to her, give her rides to the doctor and the pharmacy, run the occasional errand.  She lets me use a shack in her back yard for my workshop.  She’s lonely, can barely walk, and is housebound.  I usually give her a hug when I see her, but we know not to talk about politics.  Today, she came to the workshop and started talking politics.
     She’s worried.  Obama said something about “spreading the wealth”.  That scares her.  She tells me the story about her dead father, how he made and lost his fortune three times, how he always paid his debts, and all the hundreds of people he employed.  I have heard this story about ten times and want her to get to her point. 
     “Well, my father deserved all that he made.” she finally says.
      and “His money shouldn’t be taken from him.”
      and “I don’t trust the government.”
     She lives off of a trust fund that came from her father’s money.  She has lost half of it, about a million dollars, in the financial flu that’s going around now.  She’s scared; she can’t work, her health insurance is doing less and less.  She’s helpless and stuck.  And it breaks her heart to see other people losing their houses and pension funds and jobs.   
     But I am an insensitive person.  I just want to know exactly what Obama said that upset her.  What’s really going on?
    “As I understand it,” i say, “Obama wants to raise taxes from 35% to 39% for the people who make over $250,000 a year.  That’s what it was during the Clinton years…”
    And she starts yelling.  I will paraphrase some of her points:  - I’m an asshole.   -I’m always judging her.  -I’m a parasite and a socialist.  -I always contradict her and don’t listen.  -I’m impolite and rude and don’t deserve the benefit of what her father has left her (the use of the shack)…
    She has told me on several occasions that being a diabetic means that she will sometimes be irrational and emotional, and at those times she probably just needs to eat something.  So, I ask her if this is one of those times.  She denies it, and starts yelling even louder.  I am not good with irrational women.  I turn off the lights in the shack and close things up.  She follows me, yelling, for a little way, and then kept yelling from inside her house as i got in my truck. 
     On the one hand, this altercation is just a personal problem; my inability to engage constructively with my friend, who may or may not need some medical attention.  On the other hand, America is rife with issues that divide people to such a degree that it feels like there is no common ground.  All anybody can do is ignore the other guys until you have to scream.
     America is very divided these days.  Neither side has much success understanding the other.  Some of the divisive issues:  Abortion/Birth Control, Gay Rights, Taxes, “Defense”, Iraq, the “War on Terror”,…  Books could be written on each of these subjects.  Oh, yeah; and “Race” seems to be an issue too.  Legalization of Cannabis, Religion…  I better stop thinking about it.
Here in California sometimes we get to vote on “ballot measures”.  That’s when something that would usually be handled by the legislature is presented to the voters for their decision.  We have at least 17 of them this time; one is about paying for a high-speed train line, there’s one to make a law that teenage girls have to inform their parents before an abortion.   There’s one for better treatment of livestock, and another to pay billions of dollars for new prisons.   But the most interesting is a change to the California Constitution to make sure that same-sex couples cannot marry.  Proposition 8 limits marriage to one man plus one woman.  It’s a conservative response to a court ruling that says discrimation is obviously un-constitutional.
   We in California are very aware of our position.  We are the cutting-edge of culture, the avant-garde of style, the center of new age consciousness, the movie capital of the world… etc.  The silly bed-head hair that was popular in Silver Lake last year will be seen in your neighborhood in about a week, if not sooner.  Have you seen very tight too-small pants on men yet?  They’re coming your way.  We know that if this amendment passes …  Well, some of us can remember when women did not have the right to vote.  Some others have grandparents who were slaves.  And some others claim that the bible says it’s a capital offense for a man to “lay” with another man as a woman.  -it didn’t mention anything about women lying together, but add them anyway.  The proponents of 8 never mention that the same section of the Bible says that eating shellfish is the exact same sort of “abomination”.  I wait in vain for the “Eat a Shrimp, Go to Hell” protest.  “Clam Chowder = Mortal Sin!!!”.    If this amendment passes, human rights get trampled by psuedo-Religious bigotry; a dark ages curse.
    These ballot measures are often deliberately confusing.  Most people say “live and let live”; -the gays can get married if they want to.  But the measure is promoted as “pro-family”, and “protection of marriage”…  If you’re pro-gay marriage, you must vote “No” on the gay-marriage amendment.  There will be thousand of voters smacking their foreheads when they hear the results of the vote on November 5th.
     So what can you do?  Read everything you can.  Know the difference between information and propaganda.  Spread the word, -in a positive way.  There are so many “conspiracy theories” …some of them true… running around the zeitgeist, that people can lose heart about their ability to make a difference.  Somebody said that the first thing the bad guys want to do in a society like ours is make the opponents feel helpless.  That’s not a good feeling.  You might yell at somebody who means well.  And I should say something about compassion here, but I still have a lot to learn about that.

Tim Ottman